The Things
Some of my favorite, most cathartic posts at Kindredly were those where I vented about All The Things. I'm REALLY trying to live in a place of gratitude and positivity, BUT I'm human...so here goes.
Thing 1: The School Parking Lot
Truth: I've always hated the parking lot - even before I was pregnant and much more hormonal than usual. Now that I'm big (and the baby honestly feels like he may fall out some days) I really have ZERO patience for the able-bodied father who continuously parks his giant truck in the stripes or handicap space. Two weeks ago, I'd had enough. I stood outside the soccer gate waiting for B and stared this guy down as he was probably enjoying a quiet moment with Candy Crush while sitting in the stripes. He didn't make eye contact. I stared a HOLE in his head, so he was avoiding me. Since I wasn't able to confront him as I'd perfectly pictured in my mind, I wrote an email to the school for clarification (you know, before I go all psycho). Are we allowed to ignore parking laws at school? Because if so, I'm going to make it my daily mission to swerve into those stripes before that guy does. Turns out, parking laws apply everywhere, and they thanked me for bringing it to their attention (and for giving them a good laugh). So, the greeter told me she specifically asked this man to park legally when dropping his son off. Low and behold this morning the a-hole parked in the handicapped space. I SWEAR ON EVERYTHING I lost it (because this does feel like a slightly trivial thing to lose my S over, I'll blame it on hormones. However, I am a natural rule follower, and I don't like to see people blatantly ignoring them because they are LAZY). I didn't have a piece of paper to write him one of those hate letters like "you suck at parking" - it would have been much more colorful than that - so I'll be addressing AGAIN today with the school. I will gladly donate to the hourly wage of a police officer to sit there in the 45 minute time frame that is pickup and drop off just to see this jackass get a fat ticket.
Thing 2: Kim Kardashian. Or all of them, but for the sake of his paragraph, her.
Why is this woman getting so much buzz for being a skank on the internet? Also, what IS her deal? I mean, we get it, you're hot. BUT get over yourself. I guess the word narcissist just isn't dinging in her brain every single time she posts another picture of her boobs. ?? I guess I will chime in with all the other moms who wish we had her body and say "what will your children think when they see this one day?"....and pretend like her children will be anything like other children. The fact is that her children will not be like our children. I don't know what they'll be like, and I'm kind of scared to think about it. But in the meantime, I wish she'd just chill out with the nakedness on social media. Or that the celeb news outlets would stop broadcasting it. Just my two cents.
Thing 3: C-sections Scheduled for 5PM.
The hospital scheduler confirmed my c-section for April 17th!!! Cue all the confetti! A little less than two months - woo! HOWEVER, she scheduled it for 5:15PM. womp womp. The thing about surgery is that I think you have to have an empty stomach or something... all I know is that I'll be nine months pregnant, and you're telling me to have a small breakfast and nothing else after 9:30AM. I skimmed over "small breakfast" and immediately envisioned a quiet (and large) breakfast with JG at Buttermilk Kitchen because we'll have time. Now, I'm like is the size of the meal relative to the size of the person? I mean, we all know I don't do pregnancy delicately. I get all sorts of big and gross. I have an email out to make sure there's not another date my doc is available to get this baby out before 5PM. I mean, I'm already absolutely horrible on pain meds, but you're going to add hangry in there too? It's just not a good idea.
Thing 4: Women Who Apologize to You for Having to Have a C-Section.
Why you saying sorry? This happened to me recently, and it was the first time someone just came right out and said "Oh, I'm so sorry you have to do that." I get she was coming from a genuine place, but here's the deal - you have like four kids, so this is not your first rodeo - women have c-sections too, and it's not always a terrible thing. I try to refrain from the arguments between women who claim natural births are so much better than c-sections, because they have usually only had natural births and think they know everything. But c-sections are rad, people. I mean, we're all different. Some of us had them because we labored and had to do it at the last minute (my personal nightmare), others have them because they have big babies and small birth canals (me), others elect to have them because they just want one. We're all having a baby, and it's all pretty amazing. The sappy apology filled with judgement makes me stabby.
Thing 5: Husbands That Go on a Diet When Their Wife is Seven Months Pregnant
Just stop, JG. I get it, you want to lose 20 pounds, but I am so NOT in the mood to buy all the diet foods, cook all the diet foods, and stress over whether you're over your points or calories for the day today. Why? Because I am seven months pregnant, and I am eating whatever I want because it will be the last time in my life when I'll be able to do this. Weight Watchers will be there for us in April. Believe me, I am coming back with a vengeance, so get ready.
Thanks for allowing me my five minutes of crazy here. Do these things sound totally justifiably irritating or does it sound driven by hormones as I mentioned it could be?? Either way, this felt good...
Thing 1: The School Parking Lot
Truth: I've always hated the parking lot - even before I was pregnant and much more hormonal than usual. Now that I'm big (and the baby honestly feels like he may fall out some days) I really have ZERO patience for the able-bodied father who continuously parks his giant truck in the stripes or handicap space. Two weeks ago, I'd had enough. I stood outside the soccer gate waiting for B and stared this guy down as he was probably enjoying a quiet moment with Candy Crush while sitting in the stripes. He didn't make eye contact. I stared a HOLE in his head, so he was avoiding me. Since I wasn't able to confront him as I'd perfectly pictured in my mind, I wrote an email to the school for clarification (you know, before I go all psycho). Are we allowed to ignore parking laws at school? Because if so, I'm going to make it my daily mission to swerve into those stripes before that guy does. Turns out, parking laws apply everywhere, and they thanked me for bringing it to their attention (and for giving them a good laugh). So, the greeter told me she specifically asked this man to park legally when dropping his son off. Low and behold this morning the a-hole parked in the handicapped space. I SWEAR ON EVERYTHING I lost it (because this does feel like a slightly trivial thing to lose my S over, I'll blame it on hormones. However, I am a natural rule follower, and I don't like to see people blatantly ignoring them because they are LAZY). I didn't have a piece of paper to write him one of those hate letters like "you suck at parking" - it would have been much more colorful than that - so I'll be addressing AGAIN today with the school. I will gladly donate to the hourly wage of a police officer to sit there in the 45 minute time frame that is pickup and drop off just to see this jackass get a fat ticket.
Thing 2: Kim Kardashian. Or all of them, but for the sake of his paragraph, her.
Why is this woman getting so much buzz for being a skank on the internet? Also, what IS her deal? I mean, we get it, you're hot. BUT get over yourself. I guess the word narcissist just isn't dinging in her brain every single time she posts another picture of her boobs. ?? I guess I will chime in with all the other moms who wish we had her body and say "what will your children think when they see this one day?"....and pretend like her children will be anything like other children. The fact is that her children will not be like our children. I don't know what they'll be like, and I'm kind of scared to think about it. But in the meantime, I wish she'd just chill out with the nakedness on social media. Or that the celeb news outlets would stop broadcasting it. Just my two cents.
Thing 3: C-sections Scheduled for 5PM.
The hospital scheduler confirmed my c-section for April 17th!!! Cue all the confetti! A little less than two months - woo! HOWEVER, she scheduled it for 5:15PM. womp womp. The thing about surgery is that I think you have to have an empty stomach or something... all I know is that I'll be nine months pregnant, and you're telling me to have a small breakfast and nothing else after 9:30AM. I skimmed over "small breakfast" and immediately envisioned a quiet (and large) breakfast with JG at Buttermilk Kitchen because we'll have time. Now, I'm like is the size of the meal relative to the size of the person? I mean, we all know I don't do pregnancy delicately. I get all sorts of big and gross. I have an email out to make sure there's not another date my doc is available to get this baby out before 5PM. I mean, I'm already absolutely horrible on pain meds, but you're going to add hangry in there too? It's just not a good idea.
Thing 4: Women Who Apologize to You for Having to Have a C-Section.
Why you saying sorry? This happened to me recently, and it was the first time someone just came right out and said "Oh, I'm so sorry you have to do that." I get she was coming from a genuine place, but here's the deal - you have like four kids, so this is not your first rodeo - women have c-sections too, and it's not always a terrible thing. I try to refrain from the arguments between women who claim natural births are so much better than c-sections, because they have usually only had natural births and think they know everything. But c-sections are rad, people. I mean, we're all different. Some of us had them because we labored and had to do it at the last minute (my personal nightmare), others have them because they have big babies and small birth canals (me), others elect to have them because they just want one. We're all having a baby, and it's all pretty amazing. The sappy apology filled with judgement makes me stabby.
Thing 5: Husbands That Go on a Diet When Their Wife is Seven Months Pregnant
Just stop, JG. I get it, you want to lose 20 pounds, but I am so NOT in the mood to buy all the diet foods, cook all the diet foods, and stress over whether you're over your points or calories for the day today. Why? Because I am seven months pregnant, and I am eating whatever I want because it will be the last time in my life when I'll be able to do this. Weight Watchers will be there for us in April. Believe me, I am coming back with a vengeance, so get ready.
Thanks for allowing me my five minutes of crazy here. Do these things sound totally justifiably irritating or does it sound driven by hormones as I mentioned it could be?? Either way, this felt good...
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